"Just as love to God begins with listening to his Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them.” This quote by Dietrich Bonhoeffer speaks to how loving others leads us to listen to them.

Listening to people who are in pain with Christ-like love is not a skill to be learned but a reflection of His love in our hearts. When we give our life over to Him through faith “God lives in us, and his love is made complete in us.” 1 John 4:12

The result of having this relationship with God is shown in how we respond to people who are in emotional pain, whether we are a Telecare volunteer or another caregiver.

What does the love of God look like as we listen to others? Galatians 5 is our guide.

Love - unconditionally communicating compassion; knowing that the caller is created in God’s image, and needs His redemption just as we do.  Love listens and says, “You have value.”

Joy and Peace - both convey a calm trust and encouragement that there is hope and that life can be beautiful and fulfilling. 

Patience - is a valuable virtue when listening to the same story over and over again. It is to say, “I’m here for you, I know this is weighing heavy on your heart.”

Kindness - is to show empathy for another’s needs and for the duration of the call or visit, and to place the other person’s needs before your own.

Goodness - builds a sense of trust with the person. It means you are who you say you are. You are honest, sincere and have integrity.

Faithfulness - the person sharing with you knows you will keep what you hear in confidence, and that you are consistently reliable.

Gentleness - the gentle listener is a person who respond with carefully chosen words which convey warmth and safety.

Self-Control - shows itself in resisting the urge to talk back at one’s partner even if she or he is speaking in an unkind or angry tone.

A highly recommended book is Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands by Paul David Tripp where he writes of four elements of a loving and supportive relationship.

1. Enter the person's world by offering supportive listening.

2. Embody the love of Christ as you hear their journey of pain.

3. Identify with the person’s suffering and let them know that you suffer too.

4. Accept God’s agenda that we all need to change by God’s grace.

By relying on the Holy Spirit to help us care, we can authentically share our own journeys of pain, and thereby prompt healing, restoration, and change for not only others, but ourselves as well, as we journey together in Christ.