Having empathy for others is a valuable personality trait. It allows one to better understand others and helps foster a more harmonious family, work or church environment. Some people seem to have been gifted with an empathetic nature while others of us must work at it.

Wherever you sit, the first thing to do is to ask God to help you become more empathetic to others, and secondly to internalize the habits of highly empathetic people. When we gain empathy, we are likely to become more compassionate too because we can understand people’s pain better.

The following exercises may help you become more empathetic: 

• Show curiosity about others - become curious to learn more about other people. Listen attentively when someone shares something with you. Be present, alert and open to learn. 

• Reframe what you hear them saying - imagine the situation you have just heard from the perspective of the person telling you, and not from your own perspective.

• Go outside of your circle - discover what makes other people tick. Purposefully engage with people you may not usually talk to. Read about other people’s stories.

• Guard against your biases - be aware of your biases and see if there are times when your empathy for others wanes. Understanding other people does not mean you have to agree with their life choices, but doing so may make you more empathic.

• Personalize what you hear - remember and reflect on your own past experiences; how did you feel and react? Could you share this experience briefly with the hurting person?

• Convey what you understand with new language - expand your vocabulary of feeling words to use when talking to others. You might discover that someone’s “ambivalence” is a great way to capture them feeling torn between two options.

Empathy and compassion may seem to be two sides of the same coin, yet they are different. Compassion goes beyond empathy and seeks to help. Empathy is to understand and ‘feel with’ another, while compassion reaches out. Empathy is necessary but can become overwhelming and draining unless there is a way to help.

There are many references in Scripture of Jesus having compassion on people followed by either helping, healing, forgiving, or feeding them.  At Telecare, empathy is shown by listening actively, and compassion by asking them open ended questions in order to help them explore their options, give them referrals, and pray for their situation.