Anger is an intense emotion that drives some callers to contact us. Some are outraged at other people, others furious toward Canadian culture or the church. By educating our volunteers about anger, we hope to better understand our callers, and even ourselves. Debbie Cazander shares how we think and talk about anger with our callers.

Of all the human emotions, anger can be one of the most prevalent and potentially harmful.  Everyone experiences anger at times. It is normal. However, how we deal with anger can become a problem. According to Ephesians 4, verse 26 we are instructed to not sin when we become angry. The anger seems to be a given, but how we show it and manage it might be helpful or hurtful.

The causes of anger can be varied and may stem from childhood trauma or current relationships. Unresolved hurt, fear, and confusion can show up throughout life in ways that cause further negative consequences. For some, responding in an angry manner has been inherited from parents or grandparents. It is second nature for some to express themselves angrily. 

One type of anger can be beneficial and can lead to positive, life building changes. This would be the righteous anger that will lead people to work to right a wrong. Jesus showed this “righteous indignation” when he overturned the tables of the money changers in the temple. Aside from this noble purpose however, it’s difficult to find good reasons to show anger.

Unfortunately, some people understand this principle to mean they should keep their angry feelings inside, to repress them. They do their best to not think of what they are angry about, but it is an alive emotion simmering in their heart. Some angry people choose to not deal with issues and would rather blame a scapegoat. Blaming others for one’s anger may seem like a safe way of handling anger, however it can lead to passive-aggressive acts toward the person blamed. Anger suppression and blaming of others are not healthy. One day the anger may erupt as verbal abuse, destruction of property, threatening others, and actually injuring loved ones. 

Examples of explosive anger are all around us. Most of us have witnessed it on the highway in aggressive driving, horn honking, following too closely, speeding past, and yelled obscenities.  Videos of neighbours, shoppers and restaurant customers expressing verbal outrage are all over social media such as YouTube.

Aside from the righteous anger talked about earlier, both the outward and inward displays of anger discussed are not pleasing to God. How does a person come to terms with their anger? Some guidelines for ourselves, and our callers, are:

1. Acknowledge that you are angry. Don’t deny it or suppress it.
2. Admit that your behaviour is not pleasing to God. Ask God for wisdom to express it a better way.
3. Resolve the anger within yourself. Perhaps you need to discuss your anger with a friend, pastor, or counsellor.
4. Give up on the thought of being paid back for past wrongs. Live in the present and build an anger-free future.
5. Talk to the person you are angry with. Perhaps they are harbouring angry feelings toward you as well. Either way…
6. Come to a resolution. Discuss what caused the anger. Are apologies required, and forgiveness too?

Some of these steps may require much prayer, meditation, and talking to a supportive listener at Telecare or a counsellor.  Unresolved anger can lead to detrimental effects, including bitterness and hate, so it is best to make peace quickly and to “not let the sun go down on your wrath.” Ephesians 4:26.

_ _ _ _ _

Listen Up! Learn to Enhance Your Listening Skills
Join fellow volunteers from across the lower mainland for a fun and engaging morning to enhance your listening skills.

CLICK HERE for more information